Knowing When to Get Help

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If there’s one character trait that trips us up more than any other it has to be pride. Why pride?

Because, although we are social creatures, we are unbelievably bad at asking for help. Why we feel like this isn’t easy to answer.

Perhaps we don’t want others to perceive us as weak or inadequate. Maybe we’re afraid that we’ll get rejected. Maybe we hate being dependent on other people to help us do something. Or we don’t want to burden anyone else with our work or worries.

It may even be a combination of a thousand small things. No one knows for sure.

But the fact is, we are really bad at it. The problem is, not asking for help affects your life in many negative ways. And, despite what you might have been taught, knowing when to get help is one of the most valuable skills we can learn.

There are many reasons why it would be a good idea to ask for help:

You need someone’s expertise, perspective or knowledge; you need emotional support, you need an extra pair of hands to carry out a task, and much more.

 

The self-made myth

Everywhere you look, there’s a story of someone successful, someone who is ‘self-made’.

We see it in the movies we watch, the books we read, the millions of articles on ‘success’, and in many of the interviews out there.

“Started from nothing and built everything himself!”

“She is an inspiration! She managed to build an empire all by herself!”

Over time, we’ve come to believe that asking for help is dumb, or bad and that we have to be able to do everything ourselves. After all, so many successful people have done it that way, right?

Well, not really. Show me any person on the planet who’s ever done or achieved anything great, and I can guarantee that there’s at least one person behind them, helping and guiding. A spouse, a dear friend, a parent, a mentor, a business partner.

In most cases, however, it’s not just one person, there are dozens of them. And it’s time we put the self-made lie to rest. 

 

Know your limitations

I’ll be the first to admit that I often face challenges with that because it’s difficult for me to admit my limitations (remember pride?).

But knowing your limitations and expressing them to others can be one of the most liberating things in your life.

You can look at it in two ways:

1.    I have a certain limitation. Therefore I’m inadequate/incompetent/useless here.
2.    I have a certain limitation, but I’m good/great at other things.

The smart thing would be to apply yourself where you’re good or great and ask for help on tasks that you know you’re bad at.

For example, you may be an excellent copywriter, but very bad at coding and design. In that case, who would it serve if you spend 8 hours to make a few simple tweaks to the design of a website or something else, where someone who was good at it could do it in thirty minutes?

You could have used that time to do what you’re good at and get much more work done. 

Knowing your limitations will also allow you to improve your existing skills much quicker and become great at just a few things.

Alternatively, you can become a jack of all trades and master of none.

 

Avoid shortcuts

When we are assigned a task that we’re not that good at, or we don’t particularly enjoy, we often feel the urge to look for shortcuts. And while that might work for a while, sooner or later, it catches up to us.

Instead, we need to seek out help and do everything as we should. Think of it this way:

If you ask for help on a task that you’re not sure you can complete alone, the person who then helped you could ask you for help in your area of expertise meaning that you could effectively do more of what you’re good at. This brings me to the last point…

 

Look out for others, too

In and of itself helping others and lending your expertise is amazingly rewarding. It makes us happier, healthier, and it makes us feel like we are part of a community.

Being selfless and generous with your colleagues also means that people would also gladly return the help should you need it. And this is the essence of a happy and productive work environment.

You scratch their back; they scratch yours. You help them with their work (for one reason or another), and they help you in return.

Remember our designer buddy from above? If you ask for an hour of his time today to help you make a few tweaks to a website today, maybe you can lend your copywriting skills tomorrow and save that person a ton of time and frustration.