Resilience - what is it and why does it matter?

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Life is never straightforward or without challenges. So, when faced with adversity in life, how do we cope or adapt? And why do some people seem to bounce back much more quickly than others?

This is due to our resilience. A person with good resilience has the ability to cope with and recover from adversity much quicker and with less stress.

Why do we need resilience?

Being resilient doesn’t mean that you won’t experience hard times, but it can help you better manage the adverse effects when they occur. People with good resilience understand that setbacks happen and that sometimes life is hard and painful. They still experience the emotional pain, grief and sense of loss that comes after a tragedy, but their mental outlook allows them to work through such feelings and recover much quicker.

How do I build better resilience?

While genetics do have some influence in the development of resilience, the good news is that it can also be built. Below are some simple steps that you can take to help build more resilience.

1. Re-frame your thoughts - Resilient people are able to look at difficult situations in a more realistic way. Without placing blame or dwelling on the things that they can’t change.

• Instead of seeing the problem as too big to deal with, find a small step you can take to tackle it in smaller pieces.
• Focus on the positives that the situation presents. What new opportunities can you find? What can it teach you? Choose to find the good instead.
• Learn from failure. Failure is not a bad thing, it simply shows us what hasn’t worked or what isn’t working right now.

2. Seek support - Having a network of people you can trust and confide in is important for building resilience.

• Try talking to a friend or loved one about the difficulties you are having. It won’t make them go away, but sharing can make you feel like you are less alone.
• When you discuss your problems with someone else it may help you gain insight, a new perspective or even new ideas to help you better manage them.

3. Focus on what you can control - ensure you are spending your time and energy on things you can control, as opposed to dwelling on what you can't.

• Instead of wishing there was a way to change things, try focusing only on the things that are in your control. What can you do right now?
• Taking even just a small step to better the situation can improve your sense of control. It doesn’t matter where you start, or if the conditions are not perfect, it just matters that you start.